Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, with sources
1. Once you have their money,
you never give it back.
Sources:
1. Rom, "The Nagus"
2. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
3. The Klingon Way
4. The Federation Travel Guide
5. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 1999-12-18
1. If they want their money back,
give it to them.
Source:
Rom and Quark, "Prophet Motive" (*)
2. The best deal is the one that
brings the most profit.
Source:
Quark, The 34th Rule
3. Never spend more for an
acquisition than you have to.
Sources:
1. Quark, "The Maquis, Part II"
2. The Biology of Star Trek
3. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-01-02
3. I found it; it's mine.
Source:
Nog, Prisoners of Peace
4. A woman wearing clothes is
like a man in the kitchen.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
6. Never allow family to stand in
the way of opportunity.
Sources:
1. Zek, "The Nagus"
2. Odo, Saratoga
3. Quark, Rom, and Dax, Wrath of the Prophets
4. Rom, "Lwaxana Troi and the Wedding of Doom" (comic)
5. Quark, Vengeance (*)
6. Rom and Quark, Double Helix #2: Vectors
7. Star Trek on the Brain
7. Keep your ears open.
Sources:
1. Odo, "In the Hands of the Prophets"
2. Ben Sisko, "The Siege of AR-558"
8. Small print leads to large risk.
Source:
Rules
8. Only a fool passes up a
business opportunity.
Source:
Vung, Warchild
9. Opportunity plus instinct
equals profit.
Sources:
1. Nog, "The Storyteller"
2. The Making of ST:DS9
3. Nog, The Pet
4. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
5. Quark, The Heart of the Warrior
6. Narrator, "Life's Lessons"
10. Greed is eternal.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Prophet Motive"
2. Arridor and Kol, "False Profits"
3. Quark, Rebels #1: The Conquered
10. Greed is dead.
Source:
Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
11. Even if it's free, you can
always buy it cheaper.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
12. Anything worth selling is
worth selling twice.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
13. Anything worth doing is worth
doing for money.
Sources:
1. The Making of ST:DS9
2. Rules
14. [not given]
Source:
Nog, "Life's Lessons"
15. Keep your family close; keep
your latinum closer.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
16. A deal is a deal... until a
better one comes along.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Melora"
2. Nog, Highest Score
3. Rom and Odo, Saratoga
17. A contract is a contract is a
contract--but only between Ferengi.
Source:
Rom, Quark, Brunt, and Gint, "Body Parts"
18. A Ferengi without profit is
no Ferengi at all.
Sources:
1. Ben Sisko and Nog, "Heart of Stone"
2. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
3. Rom and Odo, Saratoga
4. Quark, "Ferengi Love Songs"
5. Quark, Double Helix #2: Vectors
19. Satisfaction is not
guaranteed.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Meridian"
2. Quark, Rebels #2: The Courageous
20. Only give money to people you
know you can steal from.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
21. Never place friendship before
profit.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. Star Trek on the Brain
3. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 1999-12-24
21. Never place profit before
friendship.
Source:
Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
22. A wise man can hear profit in
the wind.
Sources:
1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. Nog, Cardassian Imps
3. Arridor and Kol, "False Profits"
4. Quark, The 34th Rule
22. Latinum tarnishes, but family
is forever.
Source:
Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
23. Money can never replace
dignity.
Source:
Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
24. Latinum can't buy happiness,
but you can sure have a blast renting it.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
25. There's always a way out.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
26. As the customers go, so goes
the wise profiteer.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
27. There's nothing more
dangerous than an honest businessman.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Quark, Rebels #2: The Courageous
29. What's in it for me?
Source:
Nog, Highest Score
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's
mother. (Insult something he cares about, instead.)
Source:
Quark, "The Siege" (Add-on: Rules)
33. It never hurts to suck up to
the boss.
Sources:
1. Quark and Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. The Making of ST:DS9
3. Odo, Saratoga
34. War is good for business.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Destiny"
2. Ezri Dax, "The Siege of AR-558"
3. Quark, The 34th Rule (*)
4. Quark, Rebels #3: The Liberated
35. Peace is good for business.
Sources:
1. Dax, "Destiny"
2. Quark and Rom, Objective: Bajor (*)
37. If it's free, take it and
worry about hidden costs later.
Source:
Nog, Arcade
39. Friendship is temporary;
profit is forever.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
40. She can touch your lobes, but
never your latinum.
Source:
Rules
41. Profit is its own reward.
Source:
Rules
42. What's mine is mine, and
what's yours is mine too.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
44. Never confuse wisdom with
luck.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Ben Sisko, Rebels #1: The Conquered
45. Ambition knows no family.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
46. Make your shop easy to find.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
47. Never trust anyone whose suit
is nicer than your own.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Rivals"
2. Bractor, "The 34th Rule"
48. The bigger the smile, the
sharper the knife.
Sources:
1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. Nog, Celebrity Comic #1
3. Odo, Saratoga
4. Star Trek on the Brain (*)
5. Picard, Preserver
49. Everything is worth something
to somebody.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
50. Gratitude can bring on
generosity.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
51. Reward anyone who adds to
your profits so they will continue to do so.
Source:
Bokat, Arcade
52. Never ask when you can take.
Source:
Quark, "Babel"
57. Good customers are as rare as
latinum--treasure them.
Source:
Quark, "Armageddon Game"
58. There is no substitute for
success.
Source:
Rules
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. The Making of ST:DS9
3. Odo, Saratoga
4. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-01-02
5. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-01-08
60. Keep your lies consistent.
Source:
Rules (*)
60. Let's you and him fight.
Sources:
1. Tunk, Balance of Power
2. Rom, "Four Funerals and a Wedding" (comic)
62. The riskier the road, the
greater the profit.
Sources:
1. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
2. Nog, Cardassian Imps
3. Quark, "Little Green Men"
4. Gronn, Celebrity Comic #1 (*)
5. Federation (*)
6. Gaila, "Business as Usual"
7. Quark, The 34th Rule
8. Quark, Rebels #2: The Courageous
9. Lept, Preserver
65. Win or lose, there's always
Huyperian beetle snuff.
Source:
Rules
65. Huyperian beetle snuff may be
fun for you and me, but it's no fun for the beetles.
Source:
Zek, "Prophet Motive" (*)
68. Ear stroking will get you
anything.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
69. Ferengi are not responsible
for the stupidity of other races.
Source:
Tunk, Balance of Power
72. Never trust your customers.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
73. If it gets you profit, sell
your own mother.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
74. Knowledge equals profit.
Source:
Barclay Hologram, "Inside Man"
75. Home is where the heart is,
but the stars are made of latinum.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Civil Defense"
2. Quark, Rebels #1: The Conquered
76. Every once in a while declare
peace.
Sources:
1. Quark, "The Homecoming"
2. Nog, Prisoners of Peace
3. Quark, The 34th Rule
77. It's better to swallow your
pride than to lose your profit.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
78. When the going gets tough,
the tough change the Rules.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed
for knowledge.
Source:
Rules
82. The flimsier the product, the
higher the price.
Source:
Rules
84. A friend is not a friend if
he asks for a discount.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
85. Never let the competition
know what you're thinking.
Source:
Rules
87. Learn the customer's
weaknesses so you can better take advantage of him.
Source:
Nog, Highest Score
87. A friend in need means three
times the profit.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
89. Ask not what your profits can
do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
Source:
Rules
92. There are many paths to
profit.
Source:
Nog, Highest Score
93. Act without delay! The sharp
knife cuts quickly.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
94. Females and finances don't
mix.
Source:
1. Rom, "Ferengi Love Songs"
2. Quark and Nog, "Profit and Lace"
3. The Biology of Star Trek
95. Expand or die.
Source:
Kafar, "False Profits"
96. For every Rule, there is an
equal and opposite Rule (except when there's not).
Source:
Rules
97. Enough... is never enough.
Source:
Rules
97. If you can't take it with
you, don't go.
Source:
A Nagus, _I, Q_
98. Every man has his price.
Sources:
1. Quark, "In the Pale Moonlight"
2. Quark, The 34th Rule
99. Trust is the biggest
liability of all.
Source:
Rules
100. If they take your first
offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
101. The only value of a
collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
102. Nature decays, but latinum
is forever.
Source:
Quark and Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"
103. Sleep can interfere with...
[cut off]
Source:
Pel, "Rules of Acquisition" (*)
103. Fill a desperate need with
your most expensive product, then mark it up 500%.
Source:
Rom, The Heart of the Warrior
104. Faith moves mountains... of
inventory.
Source:
Rules
105. Don't trust anyone who
trusts you.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
106. There is no honor in
poverty.
Source:
Rules
107. A warranty is valid only if
they can find you.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
109. Dignity and an empty sack is
worth the sack.
Source:
Quark, "Rivals"
111. Treat people in your debt
like family--exploit them [ruthlessly].
Sources:
1. Ben Sisko, "Past Tense, Part I"
2. Worf, "The Darkness and the Light"
3. Add-on: Quark, Legends of the Ferengi
4. Zuntil, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-05-05
112. (Omitted)
Source:
Quark, "Playing God" (*)
113. (Omitted)
Source:
Rules (*)
115. The best contract always has
a lot of fine print.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
116. There's always a catch.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
119. Never judge a customer by
the size of his wallet. (Sometimes, good things come in small
packages.)
Sources:
1. 'Rules of Netquisition' #1
2. "Who Mourns For Morn?"
121. Everything is for sale, even
friendship.
Source:
Rules
123. Even a blind man can
recognize the glow of latinum.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Quark, Rebels #1: The Conquered
125. You can't make a deal if
you're dead.
Source:
Quark, "The Siege of AR-558"
126. Count it.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
127. Stay neutral in conflict so
that you can sell supplies to both sides.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
135. Never trust a beneficiary.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
139. Wives serve; brothers
inherit.
Sources:
1. Odo, "Necessary Evil"
2. Odo, Saratoga
141. Only fools pay retail.
Source:
Rules
142. There's no such thing as an
unfair advantage.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
143. Risk is part of the
game--play it for all it's worth.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
144. There's nothing wrong with
charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-05-01
146. Necessity, n. The mother of
invention. Profit is the father.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
152. A lie is a way to tell the
truth to someone who doesn't know.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
153. Sell the sizzle, not the
steak.
Source:
Quark, DS9 Comic #22
162. Even in the worst of times,
someone turns a profit.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Rom, Wrath of the Prophets
168. Whisper your way to success.
Source:
Nog, "Treachery, Faith, and the Great River"
169. Competition and fair play
are mutually exclusive.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
171. Blood is thicker than water,
and latinum is thicker than both.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
172. Chances aren't what they
used to be.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
177. Know your enemies... but do
business with them always.
Source:
Rules
181. Not even dishonesty can
tarnish the shine of profit.
Source:
Rules
184. [not given]
Source:
Tunk, Balance of Power (*)
188. A fool and his money is the
best customer.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
189. Let others keep their
reputation. You keep their money.
Source:
Rules (*)
190. Hear all; trust nothing.
Source:
Nog, "Call to Arms"
191. A Ferengi waits to bid until
his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Source:
Tunk, Balance of Power
192. Never cheat a Klingon...
unless you're sure you can get away with it.
Source:
Rules
194. It's always good business to
know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Whispers" (*)
2. Quark, Rebels #1: The Conquered
200. If you're going to have to
endure, make yourself comfortable.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
202. The justification of profit
is profit.
Source:
Rules
203. New customers are like
razor-backed Greeworms--they can be succulent, but sometimes
they bite back!
Source:
Quark, "Little Green Men"
204. It takes a Ferengi to cheat
a Ferengi.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
208. Sometimes the only thing
more dangerous than the question is an answer.
Source:
Zek, "Ferengi Love Songs"
211. Employees are the rungs on
the ladder of success--don't hesitate to step on them.
Sources:
1. Grimp, "Bar Association"
2. Rom, "Lwaxana Troi and the Wedding of Doom" (comic)
214. Never begin a business
negotiation on an empty stomach.
Sources:
Quark, "The Maquis, Part I"
The Federation Travel Guide
216. Never gamble with an empath.
Source:
Quark, The Laertian Gamble
217. You can't free a fish from
water.
Sources:
1. Quark, "Past Tense, Part I" (*)
2. Lept, Preserver
218. Always know what you're
buying.
Source:
Rules (*)
218. Always know the competition.
Source:
Odo, Gypsy World
218. Sometimes what you get free
costs entirely too much.
Source:
Quark, DS9 Comic #12: "Baby on Board"
219. Possession is 11/10 of the
law.
Source:
Tunk, Balance of Power
223. Beware the man who doesn't
make time for oo-mox.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. "Who Mourns For Morn?"
3. The Biology of Star Trek
229. Latinum lasts longer than
lust.
Sources:
1. Rom, "Ferengi Love Songs"
2. Quark, "Four Funerals and a Wedding" (comic)
231. There's a sucker born every
minute; be sure you're the first to find each one.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
236. You can't buy fate.
Source:
Rules
239. Never be afraid to mislabel
a product.
Sources:
1. Gint, "Body Parts"
2. Picard, Preserver
242. More is good... all is
better.
Source:
Rules
243. [not given]
Sources:
1. Quark, "Profit and Loss"
2. Quark, Devil in the Sky
253. Synthehol is the lubricant
of choice for a customer's stuck purse.
Source:
Star Trek on the Brain
255. A wife is a luxury... a
smart accountant, a necessity.
Source:
Rules
256. Accountants do not play the
game; they only keep the score.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
260. Life's not fair. How else
would you turn a profit?
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
261. A wealthy man can afford
anything except a conscience.
Source:
Rules
262. A verbal contract isn't
worth the paper it's written on.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish
your lust for latinum.
Source:
Rom, "Bar Association"
265. The customer is always right
(...until you get their cash).
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #1
266. When in doubt, lie.
Source:
Rules
267. If you believe it, they
believe it.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
270. In business deals, a
disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
273. Never trust a hardworking
employee.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #2
277. Anything worth fighting for
is worth hiding from.
Source:
'Rules of Netquisition' #3
284. Deep down, everyone's a
Ferengi.
Sources:
1. Rules
2. Ben Sisko, Rebels #1: The Conquered
285. No good deed ever goes
unpunished.
Sources:
1. Quark, "The Collaborator"
2. Quark, "The Sound of Her Voice"
3. Quark, Rebels #1: The Conquered
4. Pelgar, "Dear Pelgar", 2000-01-04
285. A good deed is its own
reward.
Source:
Rom, "Prophet Motive" (*)
286. When Morn leaves, it's all
over.
Source:
Quark, "The House of Quark" (*)
299. Whenever you exploit
someone, it never hurts to thanks them. (That way, it's easier
to exploit them the next time.)
Sources:
1. Neelix, "False Profits" (*)
2. Star Trek on the Brain
?. The more time they take
deciding, the more money they will spend.
Source:
Nog, Stowaways
?. The greater (the) amount you
are taking from someone, the greater the distraction must be.
Source:
Nog, Stowaways
?. A bargain usually isn't.
Source:
Jake, The Pet
?. One person's secret is another
person's opportunity.
Source:
Quark, Devil in the Sky
?. The hand that holds the
latinum may also hide a dagger.
Source:
Nog, Highest Score
?. You can tell a great deal
about a man from his shoes.
Source:
Merchant, "False Profits"
?. Time's an asset.
Source:
Merchant, "False Profits"
?. Your goods are now my goods.
Source:
Merchant, "False Profits"
?. Exploitation begins at home.
Source:
Arridor and the Sandalmaker, "False Profits"
?. When you see a good deal, jump
on it.
Source:
Quark, Saratoga
?. A Ferengi without a head for
business has no future.
Source:
Nog, Saratoga
?. Business is business, even
among friends.
Source:
Odo, Saratoga
?. Everything has a price.
Source:
Pol, Federation
?. Ears open, eyes wide.
Source:
Quark, The 34th Rule
?. Never believe anyone taller
than you.
Source:
Zek, The 34th Rule
?. There's a Rule of Acquisition
to cover everything, but that doesn't mean one's always got to
be applied.
Source:
Quark, The 34th Rule
?. It's better to live on one's
feet than to die on one's knees.
Source:
Quark, Rebels #3: The Liberated
?. A good negotiation should be
savored, like a good wine.
Source:
Shep, Double Helix #4: Quarantine
**. When no appropriate
Rule applies, make one up. (The unwritten rule)
[Example: When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits,
kill the messenger.]
Arridor, "False Profits"